i think i would like to take mywords back. maybe i am starting to believe again. :)

christmas was awesome. the whole weekend was spent with the gang. din really countdown but spent the last few moments of 24thdec and the first few hours [4 for me, like 7 for the guys] prawning at ecp. my idea. lol. but it was quite fun i caught quite a big prawn :D then on xmas we mahjonged. on sunday also mahjong then went to watch avatar. avatar is pretty awesome imo. despite battle and war and fantasy shows being not my cup of tea. but the glasses were really huge and heavy so it wasnt the most comfortable 2 hour plus for me.

the day after xmas was bad. i crashed my car again. and this time i was really fucking scared. like when i drove home i went at 60. aye ecp also 60. and i stayed on the left extreme lane like a newbie. i think my hands were even trembling la.

but on the whole ride home, there was this one person i wanted to call. wanted to hear your joke and laugh at you. to feel assured that i will be okay. but i didnt have the courage to make the call because i don't think it will be right.

but i hope that sometime from now, that call would be one i can make :)

taiwan

taiwan trip was pretty awesome. I think it more or less was what I expected - after like four months of discussions and murmuring during lectures about it. there was quite a lot of shopping. Quite a bit of eating and nai chaing. And Some sightseeing.
the company of people was rather fun and we kinda cracked a lot of jokes along the way. but no doubt there were also quite a lot of unhappiness and disagreements along the way. But oh well.
I think one of the best part of the trip was having the chance to live w a taiwanese family (yi shiuan's auntie). I think that's the most valuable experience one can get while travellling overseas.

because i will remember
need to remember
how i trusted and fell so hard

so im not going there again.

its been a long while

its kinda hard blogging with facebook present. everyone barely updates anymore, even myself because facebook is almost equivalent to life. probably even more, because you can never know what your friend has done unless she blogs it down, but with facebook - all the status updates and pictures and shoutouts plus the presence of twitter has made blogging really useless in my opinion.

but i shall try to be a loyal fan heh.

anyway schools out. yes school is out. :D :D :D
actually this sem i did not really hate school. i had a pretty nice and chill timetable, which did not often require me to wake up and think if i should skip school because i wanna sleep in. i ony hated the travelling. seriously. and i doubt that would change anytime or anyhow in the next few semesters unless someone is nice to buy me a car haha. otherwise i guess its 3 hours plus of travelling - unchanged.

this semester was pretty ok i feel. kinda flew past just like that, its quite scary becuase if i do not stick on to do my honours or wander off halfway to partake in any activities, i am ready to join the workforce in 3 sems time. which is one an a half yr. :0 just the thought of this makes me wanna do honours lol. i hope my results will improve this sem, and hopefully my capcan be pulled to >3. this sem is really my best record man, no clubbing on wednesdays at all. i only slept like twice in class [cz lectures] and i din pon mroe than 5 lectures, which were all webcasted. hehe. and i studied for my exams and tests, maybe not the hardest but defnitely mroe than sem1and2. so im keeping my fingers crossed and hope my results show my effort.

on the other hand, norway is like impending. submission of all the documents are due next mar1. nus has approved. parents have given consent. all is ready except norway's approval and cash in the pocket. i have estimated a 20k total for the whole exchange - and i think its time to start working for the money. im looking out for tuition assignments, maybe 3 for next year so that i can have a good steady savings. and for may-aug i will probably need to work. 20k is like almost impossible but i shall work hard for the next 9 months, so that the following 5 months can be a good experience and i am not so constrained by money issues :)

I don't think you deserved it
But u got it

I thought u deserved it
And you got it

this is life man.

I don't think you deserved it
But u got it

I thought u deserved it
And you got it

this is life man.

my brother

I think my brother is awfully brave. Because right now he is w like ten other people, all older than him, and they have known each other before today, and he's learning capoeira from them. I would definitely have chickened out. I wonder how it is going..
But I also wish its ending I'm so tired I wanna go home:(

when something big, something exciting or something bad happens to you. i think the people who you first turn to and tell them are those who really matter, people who really know you. because then you know that the words they say and the advice they give are the most accurate since they know you best.

i almost took a smoke again today.

but then i keep telling myself not to fall back in,
and to have hope.
but quite hard ah

F1 vs MidAutumn Festival

ah i realise i have been spamming my blog recently. maybe i just need an outlet to talk to. hahaha how pathetic does that sound. anyway next friday would be ba yue zhong qiu. the midautumn festival once again.

earlier this week, i was actually looking at all the F1 shows advertisement, and being spammed by emails and messages in facebook about all the F1 parties with extremely expensive covers and alot of hyped up nonsense and road closures and stuff like this. its not only this weekend. its like becoming a trend. more and more malls selling expensive designer stuff, greater pressure on living the good life, on having the branded and the best of everything. Even eating a nice decent meal has become pretty expensive! i felt quite worried, its like Singapore is moving towards being a very attas country. I wondered, if there will be a place left for the not so well to do Singaporeans say, ten years down the road.

I was randomly thinking about this on my way home [the long journey home from school] yesterday. If i were to choose to stay in singapore, get married and have kids, what kind of environment will my children be growing up in? A very stressful system where people only recognise you for the number of As you have in your cert and the amount of money you have in your bank? Where family time between myself and them would probably evolve around the to and fro trips we make to tuition centers and enrichments places? Would my children still celebrate these traditional festivals like the midautumn where the family gets together to light those paper 20c per piece lanterns and eat mooncakes - or would they rather stay at home and play with their WII or PSP?

I was really heartened as i went for a short loook at the festival celebrations in my estate just now. i saw like a group of 100 over children all happily carrying their lighted lanterns and going for a walk around the estate. But really, i wonder how long more can these traditions last.